Comments on: Debunking the Self-Esteem Myth http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/ Provocations, Disruptions, and Creations... Sat, 19 Jul 2008 21:25:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=MU By: Kay http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-17791 Kay Tue, 02 Oct 2007 05:45:33 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-17791 I honestly don't think that nurturing self esteem is a bad thing. You do it through accomplishment. Nothing beats the feeling of tackling tasks of ever increasing difficulty. And yes, encouragement at times helps those of us who have motivational issues. And I think you CAN do really well in school, and have low self confidence in other areas of your life. I am one who is able to logic herself out of many of the 'self distructive paths' but some of those thoughts wouldn't even cross my mind if I believed that my contribution to society was really worth anything at all. That being said since I have a propensity to glass half full thinking the fact that I can go through a mental list and convince myself that life is not that bad is a good thing. "I'm Stupid" - Well, no not really I managed to do well in college, and my nickname at work is "guru" so I can't truely be that devoid of intelligence. I am at the very least able to get myself to conceed that I am of average intelligence. And I think that as I accomplish other things it will help assuage my other fears/naggling inadequacies. Do I think insanely high self esteem is a good thing, no I wouldn't want that kind of mania. I've said it before, I would hope someone would help ground me if I ever began to have delusions of grandeur. I think that a part of healthy self esteem is an awareness of ones limitations. Not allowing them to constrict you, but knowing how far you can push . So if i KNOW I can do ABC and I think I can do D and MAYBE E... I wouldn't try to do JKL right away without proper preperation. I guess thats my personal theory on it though, not at all scientific and no research to support it just personal experience... so this whole comment is purely subjective. I honestly don’t think that nurturing self esteem is a bad thing. You do it through accomplishment. Nothing beats the feeling of tackling tasks of ever increasing difficulty. And yes, encouragement at times helps those of us who have motivational issues. And I think you CAN do really well in school, and have low self confidence in other areas of your life.

I am one who is able to logic herself out of many of the ’self distructive paths’ but some of those thoughts wouldn’t even cross my mind if I believed that my contribution to society was really worth anything at all. That being said since I have a propensity to glass half full thinking the fact that I can go through a mental list and convince myself that life is not that bad is a good thing.

“I’m Stupid” - Well, no not really I managed to do well in college, and my nickname at work is “guru” so I can’t truely be that devoid of intelligence. I am at the very least able to get myself to conceed that I am of average intelligence.

And I think that as I accomplish other things it will help assuage my other fears/naggling inadequacies.

Do I think insanely high self esteem is a good thing, no I wouldn’t want that kind of mania. I’ve said it before, I would hope someone would help ground me if I ever began to have delusions of grandeur. I think that a part of healthy self esteem is an awareness of ones limitations. Not allowing them to constrict you, but knowing how far you can push .

So if i KNOW I can do ABC and I think I can do D and MAYBE E… I wouldn’t try to do JKL right away without proper preperation.

I guess thats my personal theory on it though, not at all scientific and no research to support it just personal experience… so this whole comment is purely subjective.

]]> By: Ankher http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-15469 Ankher Sat, 18 Aug 2007 16:42:00 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-15469 very true! very true!

]]> By: Barbara W http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-15135 Barbara W Mon, 13 Aug 2007 20:07:04 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-15135 A good article and an excellent discussion going on here. I think too many people base their level of self esteem on external factors, and self comparison to them. Everyone is unique, and therefore different to anyone else. By doing so failure is inevitable. The foundation of self esteem is self acceptance. A good article and an excellent discussion going on here.
I think too many people base their level of self esteem on external factors, and self comparison to them. Everyone is unique, and therefore different to anyone else. By doing so failure is inevitable. The foundation of self esteem is self acceptance.

]]> By: levitrauser http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-15120 levitrauser Mon, 13 Aug 2007 11:09:54 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-15120 Thats for this great review of self esteam. I think you've pretty much hit the nail on the head. In many ways confidence (as opposed to arrogance) is one of the most attractive qualities people can possess. However it can be difficult to get people to develop it. Great blog! Thats for this great review of self esteam. I think you’ve pretty much hit the nail on the head.

In many ways confidence (as opposed to arrogance) is one of the most attractive qualities people can possess. However it can be difficult to get people to develop it.

Great blog!

]]> By: Bob Leski http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-2314 Bob Leski Fri, 06 Apr 2007 04:12:46 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-2314 Thank you for this website. Yes, the myth of SE should have been intuitive. I taught for over 40 years and it was no secret to me that time-on-task (the amount of time one studied regularly per week) was a more important factor for success than I.Q. or one's image of one's self or how one believed others viewed oneself. At my 50 high school reunion, whatever we projected about ourselves in high school, we projected 50 later. I did not say whatever self-esteem we had... Who is walking around with a conscious preoccupation of what they feel about themselves. We just feel and think simultaneously. The pseudopsychologists disect from our totality what is not disectable in reality. Thank you for this website. Yes, the myth of SE should have been intuitive. I taught for over 40 years and it was no secret to me that time-on-task (the amount of time one studied regularly per week) was a more important factor for success than I.Q. or one’s image of one’s self or how one believed others viewed oneself.

At my 50 high school reunion, whatever we projected about ourselves in high school, we projected 50 later. I did not say whatever self-esteem we had…

Who is walking around with a conscious preoccupation of what they feel about themselves. We just feel and think simultaneously. The pseudopsychologists disect from our totality what is not disectable in reality.

]]> By: Dave http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-1352 Dave Mon, 19 Mar 2007 16:24:42 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-1352 I agree with most of what you say. Too much importance is put on high self esteem. This is because low self esteem is overdiagnosed. It's actually something that VERY FEW people suffer from. You mentioned your girlfriend deflecting compliments from you and others. I think she's got you fooled. She doesn't have low self esteem either. At worst she's fishing for compliments. At best she's practicing humility. That's good. I think many in our society confuse humility with low self esteem. When did humility become a bad thing anyway? It's something you CAN'T have too much of. I agree with most of what you say. Too much importance is put on high self esteem. This is because low self esteem is overdiagnosed. It’s actually something that VERY FEW people suffer from. You mentioned your girlfriend deflecting compliments from you and others. I think she’s got you fooled. She doesn’t have low self esteem either. At worst she’s fishing for compliments. At best she’s practicing humility. That’s good. I think many in our society confuse humility with low self esteem. When did humility become a bad thing anyway? It’s something you CAN’T have too much of.

]]> By: Nikita http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-1309 Nikita Mon, 05 Mar 2007 18:10:46 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-1309 I grew up with alot of self-control. My parents taught me to take good care of myself. I never did drugs or went crazy in school. And although I got alot of respect for my calm and wise ways, I internally lacked self-esteem. After I graduated, I decided to have "fun". I started going out more, had more boyfriends, and began to feel more confident. However, I realised that many people lost their respect for me. I don't believe theres a right way of learning because of our social deformaties. We live in such a diverse world where we're constantly being measured, and the only thing we have full control over is our own perception of ourself. It is important to teach self-control and self-esteem, but through self-reflection. We need to teach our children to reflect on themselves at an early age. Keep them intouch with thier emotions and teach empathy. That is the key. Let them explore everything, but with a high self-conscience. I grew up with alot of self-control. My parents taught me to take good care of myself. I never did drugs or went crazy in school. And although I got alot of respect for my calm and wise ways, I internally lacked self-esteem. After I graduated, I decided to have “fun”. I started going out more, had more boyfriends, and began to feel more confident. However, I realised that many people lost their respect for me. I don’t believe theres a right way of learning because of our social deformaties. We live in such a diverse world where we’re constantly being measured, and the only thing we have full control over is our own perception of ourself. It is important to teach self-control and self-esteem, but through self-reflection. We need to teach our children to reflect on themselves at an early age. Keep them intouch with thier emotions and teach empathy. That is the key. Let them explore everything, but with a high self-conscience.

]]> By: You can get smart. You’re not smart. « The title can be changed later, right? http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-1296 You can get smart. You’re not smart. « The title can be changed later, right? Thu, 01 Mar 2007 06:02:56 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-1296 [...] debunking the theory that people are aggressive to make up for low self-esteem.) [Also see another blog.] […] A person who grows up getting too frequent rewards will not have persistence, because [...] [...] debunking the theory that people are aggressive to make up for low self-esteem.) [Also see another blog.] […] A person who grows up getting too frequent rewards will not have persistence, because [...]

]]> By: John http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-1109 John Sun, 11 Feb 2007 15:00:27 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-1109 Interesting post. You mentioned many "studies" but didn't cite a single peer-reviewed scientific journal article. Your thesis, if you will, would carry a lot more weight if you backed it up with the actual evidence instead of just telling the reader that you know there's evidence out there. Interesting post. You mentioned many “studies” but didn’t cite a single peer-reviewed scientific journal article. Your thesis, if you will, would carry a lot more weight if you backed it up with the actual evidence instead of just telling the reader that you know there’s evidence out there.

]]> By: Pharmacy Wizard http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-845 Pharmacy Wizard Sat, 27 Jan 2007 13:27:10 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-845 What is the nature of international responses to health problems? What assumptions and intentions underlie aid programs? WBR LeoP What is the nature of international responses to health problems? What assumptions and intentions underlie aid programs? WBR LeoP

]]> By: Grazer http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-438 Grazer Thu, 18 Jan 2007 14:57:59 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-438 I agree with much of what is written here, but I do not see any comment on the importance of a persons 'self image', as discussed in much of Paul McKenna’s work and of course Maxwell Maltz in his book psycho cybernetics. What a person thinks about himself or herself comes as much from the image that they hold in mind of the type of person they are and what such a person is capable of, as much as from their self-esteem. Is it possible that their self-image will determine whether they have positive or negative self-esteem? Their self-image maybe a result of experience and that will be influenced by their ability (whether innate, learned or a hybrid) to control their actions and impulses. Is self-control or more importantly the lack of to blame for the obesity, crime, drug and sexual deviance problems that many societies face today? Lack of self-control leading to negative consequences and a negative self-image, or a poor self-image leading to poor self-control and its consequences? I suppose the question is, how does a persons self-image form, and at what age? Is it fabricated by the time we hit puberty for instance ? Any thoughts folks? I agree with much of what is written here, but I do not see any comment on the importance of a persons ’self image’, as discussed in much of Paul McKenna’s work and of course Maxwell Maltz in his book psycho cybernetics.

What a person thinks about himself or herself comes as much from the image that they hold in mind of the type of person they are and what such a person is capable of, as much as from their self-esteem.

Is it possible that their self-image will determine whether they have positive or negative self-esteem? Their self-image maybe a result of experience and that will be influenced by their ability (whether innate, learned or a hybrid) to control their actions and impulses. Is self-control or more importantly the lack of to blame for the obesity, crime, drug and sexual deviance problems that many societies face today?

Lack of self-control leading to negative consequences and a negative self-image, or a poor self-image leading to poor self-control and its consequences?

I suppose the question is, how does a persons self-image form, and at what age? Is it fabricated by the time we hit puberty for instance ?

Any thoughts folks?

]]> By: Diana Chance http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-434 Diana Chance Thu, 18 Jan 2007 12:18:15 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-434 On: Steve Olson Comment on Jan 4th, 2007 at 2:15 pm. I agree with you 100% when you state the fact that people with high self-esteem DO NOT run around announcing to the world how great they are and/or acting arrogant. That, I believe, is a front being put on for several reasons and that depends on the person. One reason could be in fact low-self esteem (as I myself have personally behaved that way in the past), another reason could be lack of emotions and/or jumbled emotions; hence the need to appear as though they are ‘normal’ or even better than ‘normal’. Now, as far as self-control and self-esteem are concerned, I do not believe you can fully consistently experience one without the other. Also, they’re both going to have the tendency to vary depending on one’s past and current circumstances as well as a deep understanding of both, support system, belief system, etc… We see each other through other people’s eyes really. We make a decision of who we are based on people’s reactions to our behavior. Especially our loved ones. It’s a complicated issue but definitely one worth discussing about and also, worth learning different perspectives. Self-esteem does not, in my eyes, exist without self-control. Positive self-control does not exist without a positive self-image. This has been my own experience and not to brag, many research findings. I think they both go hand in hand and we should carefully watch out in order to detect external/internal factors impairing either one. They’re both crucial for a healthy, happy life. Keeping an open-mind, getting outside (therefore more objective) opinions, I think plays a major role in whether one is to succeed in this area. It is VERY possible if, that is, there is support and that same support is accepted. -Diana Chance On: Steve Olson Comment on Jan 4th, 2007 at 2:15 pm.

I agree with you 100% when you state the fact that people with high self-esteem DO NOT run around announcing to the world how great they are and/or acting arrogant. That, I believe, is a front being put on for several reasons and that depends on the person. One reason could be in fact low-self esteem (as I myself have personally behaved that way in the past), another reason could be lack of emotions and/or jumbled emotions; hence the need to appear as though they are ‘normal’ or even better than ‘normal’.

Now, as far as self-control and self-esteem are concerned, I do not believe you can fully consistently experience one without the other. Also, they’re both going to have the tendency to vary depending on one’s past and current circumstances as well as a deep understanding of both, support system, belief system, etc…

We see each other through other people’s eyes really. We make a decision of who we are based on people’s reactions to our behavior. Especially our loved ones. It’s a complicated issue but definitely one worth discussing about and also, worth learning different perspectives.

Self-esteem does not, in my eyes, exist without self-control. Positive self-control does not exist without a positive self-image.
This has been my own experience and not to brag, many research findings. I think they both go hand in hand and we should carefully watch out in order to detect external/internal factors impairing either one. They’re both crucial for a healthy, happy life. Keeping an open-mind, getting outside (therefore more objective) opinions, I think plays a major role in whether one is to succeed in this area. It is VERY possible if, that is, there is support and that same support is accepted.

-Diana Chance

]]> By: Medisozluk.Com » Blog Archive » Debunking the Self-Esteem Myth « Meditations on Meaning http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-301 Medisozluk.Com » Blog Archive » Debunking the Self-Esteem Myth « Meditations on Meaning Tue, 16 Jan 2007 10:56:30 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-301 [...] Debunking the Self-Esteem Myth « Meditations on Meaning [...] [...] Debunking the Self-Esteem Myth « Meditations on Meaning [...]

]]> By: Ocean http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-269 Ocean Fri, 12 Jan 2007 18:19:33 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-269 I'm with Amy. I suppose that is where the notion that failure is a bad thing comes from. That there's no last place, that everyone gets a trophy. How better you enjoy the sweetness of success when you have experienced the bitter taste of failure. I’m with Amy. I suppose that is where the notion that failure is a bad thing comes from. That there’s no last place, that everyone gets a trophy. How better you enjoy the sweetness of success when you have experienced the bitter taste of failure.

]]> By: Jillian Hall http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-243 Jillian Hall Tue, 09 Jan 2007 21:05:10 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-243 <strong>professional wrestler</strong> Interesting post. I came across this blog by accident, but it was a good accident. I have now bookmarked your blog for future use. Best wishes. Jillian Hall. professional wrestler

Interesting post. I came across this blog by accident, but it was a good accident. I have now bookmarked your blog for future use. Best wishes. Jillian Hall.

]]> By: links for 2007-01-05 at guessboy http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-226 links for 2007-01-05 at guessboy Sat, 06 Jan 2007 19:24:20 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-226 [...] Debunking the Self-Esteem Myth I have empirical evidence (tags: psychology self-esteem life education) [...] [...] Debunking the Self-Esteem Myth I have empirical evidence (tags: psychology self-esteem life education) [...]

]]> By: Science has debunked the self esteem myth…. why aren’t people listening? : Popular Bookmarks : eConsultant http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-225 Science has debunked the self esteem myth…. why aren’t people listening? : Popular Bookmarks : eConsultant Sat, 06 Jan 2007 18:34:02 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-225 [...] Science has debunked the self esteem myth…. why aren’t people listening? Posted in bookmarks | Trackback | del.icio.us [...] [...] Science has debunked the self esteem myth…. why aren’t people listening? Posted in bookmarks | Trackback | del.icio.us [...]

]]> By: Ben’s Blog » Blog Archive » Debunking the Self-Esteem Myth « Meditations on Meaning http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-222 Ben’s Blog » Blog Archive » Debunking the Self-Esteem Myth « Meditations on Meaning Fri, 05 Jan 2007 23:50:34 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-222 [...] Debunking the Self-Esteem Myth « Meditations on Meaning [...] [...] Debunking the Self-Esteem Myth « Meditations on Meaning [...]

]]> By: Tove http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-220 Tove Fri, 05 Jan 2007 20:15:55 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-220 I agree with Bev, Americans today are overinflated with self esteem so much so they truly believe themselves to be greater than great, but don't really know themselves very well at all. A more spiritual point where one humbles themselves and does not boast can only prove to be more admirable amongst others. Self esteem in any form equates to boastfulness even if one does so in ones mind it shows and isn't always attractive. Inner confidence from self knowledge is not the same thing at all, and takes a long time to achieve its more like the wisdom of old. I agree with Bev, Americans today are overinflated with self esteem so much so they truly believe themselves to be greater than great, but don’t really know themselves very well at all.
A more spiritual point where one humbles themselves and does not boast can only prove to be more admirable amongst others.
Self esteem in any form equates to boastfulness even if one does so in ones mind it shows and isn’t always attractive. Inner confidence from self knowledge is not the same thing at all, and takes a long time to achieve its more like the wisdom of old.

]]> By: www.BoerSeun.com » Self-Esteem prevents teen pregnancy, but will it cure Cancer? http://meditationsonmeaning.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-219 www.BoerSeun.com » Self-Esteem prevents teen pregnancy, but will it cure Cancer? Fri, 05 Jan 2007 20:10:05 +0000 http://avanoo.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/debunking-the-self-esteem-myth/#comment-219 [...] came across a blog entry on “Debunking the Self-Esteem Myth”. A very interesting read, I suggest you read it. In this writing, the blogger argues that the US [...] [...] came across a blog entry on “Debunking the Self-Esteem Myth”. A very interesting read, I suggest you read it. In this writing, the blogger argues that the US [...]

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